February 29, 2012

How to Survive NAVIGATING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

Living with a couple almost certainly means you will, at one point or another, walk in on a hot and heavy cuddling session on the couch. But remember, we’ve all been there. Don’t pretend you’ve never used that loveseat as a loveseat.

However, you do have the right to tell them it can’t get out of hand. It is perfectly reasonable to demand to see a bowl of ice cream every time you hear that Ready Whip can.

And you may find yourself needing to enforce a dress code. Sure, seeing The Girlfriend walk around without a shirt is no big deal, especially if, like me, she happens to be your sister. But is it fair that she’s the only one in this apartment who has the freedom to not care? You don’t even leave the shower without a full body robe on lest The Boyfriend is around. So why does she get to flaunt it? Setting clear boundaries is in everyone’s best interest.

February 20, 2012

How To Survive DINNER TIME

I know you think you want to be involved in the dinner-making process. But if you start to see Significant Other #1 and Significant Other #2 throw sultry glances at one another, or fingers twitching to fling that spoon of mashed potatoes onto the other’s neck in a flirty attempt to begin a food fight that will inevitably end with each licking off the assailed food items… I suggest you get out of there. You may be one of the lucky few who live with a couple whose passion heats up whenever the oven does.

And it’s always nice to come home to pots boiling with delicious aromas, Frank’s “You Make Me Feel So Young” Pandora channel playing, and a table set with candles. But don’t just assume The Boyfriend can’t count and get out a third plate for yourself. Try to appreciate the fact that you get to order Chinese food for the fourth time in a week and get to watch whatever movie you want while stuffing your face shamelessly. Who wants to sit across from a doe-eyed lover staring as you try not to make faces at the burnt pasta dish anyway?

Sorry, but this spaghetti isn't long enough for three.