How to Survive HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH

You would normally have this conundrum handled with roommates who are not deranged, smitten lovers dating. You would have a personal friendship with Roommate 1 and a personal friendship with Roommate 2, and then all three of you would also have your own dynamic. But when you're living with a couple the game has changed. You no longer have two separate beings to work and interact with; they are an entity in and of themselves. Is it possible to have a relationship with each separately, or are you doomed to deal with them two at a time for the rest of your shared apartment existence? (For some reason I'm reminded here of the saying "Kill two birds with one stone.")

Try to take advantage of small opportunities to get to know each on their own. It might sometimes work out that two of you will have time for a movie while the other is running errands or doing work or wasting time drafting his fantasy football team. Take this time to have a quality conversation with your roommate. They might each appreciate getting to know you on their own as well.

And inside jokes should only be permitted if a. the other Significant Other can handle being left out or b. you can keep it a secret. And then you must realize they probably have loads of inside jokes on their own (although, you're probably not missing out on much anyway).

How to Survive PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS

Photo source

Quiet conversations in the hall, whispering, knowing looks from across the room… you’ve witnessed ‘em all. And sometimes Significant Other #1 and Significant Other #2 are not as stealthy as they think they are. They believe the kitchen is far enough away from the living room to avoid the third wheel from overhearing, but that has proved over and over again to not be true.

“You know how we can conserve warm water? Shower together. And then we’re also saving the environment!” *high-five* There are just some things you can’t unhear.

So how do you cope? My favorite game is to just join in their conversation from the other room (and then laugh at the awkward pause as they realize I have heard everything they’ve been saying). “Yeah! I’d like enough warm water for my shower later, too. Thanks!” Or, “But remember how you ended up in the emergency room the last time you tried that?” This will almost certainly bring their volume down a notch or two.